It's 3 years Jayne, but it feels like 3 lifetimes..! The tears I've shed for you would fill an ocean. We will never forget the moment you slipped away & took our hearts with you & left us broken. Only this time we cant fix it with craft glue. I still go into our special box of sequines & stickers to make things but it's not the same. Remember when we were making your 21st invitations, they started of perfect & as we had 1 or 2 wee glasses of wine they got a bit more scuwiff, we howled laughing when Stuart phoned to see what antics we were upto. These are the things that I miss sooooo much, I try to keep doing what we used to just to keep you alive in my memory. They say times a great healer, It's not!!! you just have to reprogram your head to cope. We miss you every minute of everyday & talk about you all the time. I dont care if people get sick of me it's my way of dealing with the grief! I love that the dancing girls still have their charity night too. I also like to know what they are all doing. As they say life goes on! I have got my charity night organised, oriental as promised, thought i'd do red & gold, I'm sure there will be a few dragons there Ha!ha! Can you believe that Lilian & Christine are both married know, I enjoyed getting the decorations for the tables, have to latch onto everyone elses happy events now. Went to Dirty Dancing at the theatre with aunty Heather & Emma & cried the whole way through! you would have loved it, everytime they struck up the music to each song it just made me weep. I know you & Patrick will be dancing on the clouds & say Hi to Michael too! I was going to go to Will Young but I can't! Well poppet Dad's a quiet man & you know that means even quieter than he already was, i try to gee him up but it's not happening. Keep him busy decorating & things but nothing feels the same it's only material, can't replace the void in our hearts. Still keep in touch with Stuart as he's no getting away!! He's doing well. Went upto Inverness to see him doing the marathon, oh my god his legs were acheing by the time he finished. I was so proud of him!!! He's managed to raise £1,000. for MND which is brill! can't wait to see him on sat for charity night, glad he still wants to come & be with us. Think i'm starting to get Mark back on track, kind of lost his way abit, I know you would have been angry with him, he just needs his big sisters guidance. We all cope diffrently & know one will ever know how hard that is till they've been in the despair that we have. I wouldn't have missed a minute with you Jayne and i'd do it all again only next time i would have wished for longer! Night Night my sweet little poppet