Hello my Darlings, Well life goes on...but it's so painful without you both! It takes so much effort to do anything nice. I dread the summer Aly as the gardens so big i'll be there forever trying to keep it respectable! I dread when the doocot goes as that's even more...! The girls love being outside, sometimes they are absolutely filthy, Millie get down in the dirt digging & I have to bring them in & pop them straight in the bath. Mark has carried on fixing all the jobs that have to be done & I've had to carry on with the renovation. I'm so glad we picked most of the things we needed before you left as trying to make decisions on the big stuff is hard. This is still a loving home & I can't wait till we can have everyone round to help me enjoy it. Mothers day is always so upsetting I don't have you Jayne to share it. Mark was great, we had the girls all weekend so there was lots of card making, I loved having our special craft box out. It was the first time I've used it with the girls & I loved it....glue & glitter everywhere!! fond memories came out of that box. We had a 3 course dinner from the golf course it was delicious & the best bit was I didn't have to prepare it or wash up after. As you know I love to get everyone round, prepare all the food & cook it so that's what I'm missing just now. I'm so like my Mum it's hilarious Jayne as you always said I'd turn out like her...Well I couldn't be like a better person. It's so sad her memory is failing but the wonderful woman she has always been is still there! Lola & Millie try to make her laugh so that her teeth fall out it's so cute! I don't think I'm going to have Rufus around for much longer he is failing fast, but I don't want to let him go, I would miss him so much I need his cuddles & company. I also hate the thought of upsetting the girls as they love him and that would be another heartache for them. Why is life so cruel we have to make all these painful decisions, it is so true it's just as well we don't know what's ahead! I just count my blessings that I'm well loved & have my wonderful boy with me. My every waking thought is of you both being together so I find comfort in that! Sleep tight my gorgeous angels x Love you forever xx